when I have to drop my kids off at their dad's. My eleven year old asked if her dad was going to be there. I told her no and that he was working late again. Yes, his wife was going to be there but I know its not the same.So my vibrant, goofy, happy child became quiet and serious on the 5 minute trip over to his house. My fourteen year old is pretty laid back and wasn't complaining. We unloaded their school bags, their soccer bags, her basketball bag and their suitcase full of school books and a couple of items that they like to have with them. For my son, its a Hot Wheels car and for my daughter a teddy bear.
I pile all the bags on the door step; I kiss my son and tell him I love him. I hug my daughter and am caught by surprise because she presses me close burying her head in my chest.
She is not a physically affectionate child and usually makes goofy faces when I try to kiss her. I tell her I love her and I feel her little hands grab my coat and press me closer to her. She holds on for a few more seconds and then wipes her tears on the sleeve of my coat so she can appear brave and not be sad in front of me.
It's cold but as my son walks into the house, she is still outside. She waves to me as I get into my car. She waits while I make a u-turn and is still on the doorstep to wave to me until she can no longer see me. I was able to be brave until I turn the corner and then I let myself cry all the way home. I hate moments like this.
My daughter doesn't like to pose for me but she did for about 30 minutes yesterday. She was just out of the shower and her hair was wet and uncombed. She had the bath towel draped around her shoulders and played with her DS while I painted on a 6x8 Raymar. I miss her so I finished this tonight from memory. I miss both my kids.
